It is generally common knowledge in Christian circles that marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church. But I have never heard anyone talk about the parallel in engagement – and yet the connections I have seen thus far, now three months into my engagement, are astounding to me. So, I thought I would share them here.
The Kingdom, Now and Not Yet:
The first time I heard this phrase was in college, in my Biblical studies program. So, I won’t assume my blog readers have heard this before.
In a nutshell, the New Testament speaks of the Kingdom of God as being both present now on earth, and yet still to come. It is a paradox, in one sense, a difficult concept to wrap your mind around. For, in one breath, Jesus proclaims quite boldly to “Repent – the kingdom of God is at hand!” and yet, in another breath, He instructs His followers to “stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming,” to establish His kingdom on earth. So which is it? Is it here? Or isn’t it? What does it mean that Jesus came to establish His Kingdom, and yet, He only did it in part?
One of the lingering implications of this reality is that we, as believers, who are given new life in Christ, still struggle with sin. Why? Because the Kingdom is here – the gift of righteousness has been granted to us in Christ – and yet, we still live in a fallen world, and must “work out our salvation in fear and trembling” until Christ comes again to establish the new heaven and the new earth.
Indeed, it is a difficult reality to grasp, this “in process” salvation experience.
Engagement: Marriage Now, and Not Yet:
Engagement has given me new eyes to appreciate this difficult paradox.
What is betrothal? Why do we have a moment where we make a commitment to one another, and yet spend several months waiting to fully realize that commitment? Perhaps you’ve never thought about it – or perhaps it is rather obvious to you.
Simply put, it’s because we need time to emotionally, mentally, relationally, and spiritually prepare for this incredible transition in our lives—and to plan for that great celebration!
Why the Wait?
How many times have I thought, “why can’t we just get married tomorrow? What’s this big wait all about?”
But the truth is, in part, we want to allow for as many people as possible to celebrate with us! So, we set a date, looking for when the most people can attend.
So too, “the Lord is not slow in keeping His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9). He is waiting, to allow for as many people as possible to attend the Great Celebration of Christ’s Second Coming and the establishment of His Kingdom on earth.
Not only is He not wanting any to perish, but He is going “to prepare a place for us!”
I remember just weeks after I got engaged, Mike told me how he was researching various places for us to live. I was struck by how well he reflected Christ in this way to me. Here he was, “going to prepare a place for us!”
So too, Christ is preparing our heavenly home for us – and that takes time, especially when you think of the sheer millions of believers for whom He is making preparations!
Waiting in Faith
Perhaps the most significant parallel I’ve come to understand in my season of engagement is the spiritual realities of living by faith in the promises of God.
Betrothal is a promise. And with that promise comes a realization that the marriage is only a matter of time. That’s it! For the most part, engagement is an agreement that marriage is the next step, that it’s coming, it’s going to happen, it’s just a matter of giving yourselves enough time to make adequate preparations. But there is no doubt in either of your minds that the marriage will take place. That’s what makes it so exciting—all that anticipation of what is to come!
So too, we do not hope for heaven in vain. It’s ours – Ephesians 1 says the Spirit is “the guarantee of our inheritance” – just like that engagement ring. There’s no question that Christ is coming back for His bride – it’s just a matter of the time needed to make final preparations.
Christ is coming – His Kingdom has been given to us – we have the guarantee, the ring of promise, the Holy Spirit! We are simply waiting, in this strange “season of engagement,” until all of the preparations have been made for thatC Great Day of Celebration, the fully-realized Union of the Church, as the Bride, to the Groom, Jesus Christ.
And so, as we live out our lives here on this fallen earth, even as we wait, we can do so eagerly, in excitement, and anticipation, with all our hopes and dreams bent on that Day to come. Marantha, Lord Jesus! Come! The Spirit and the Bride say Come!
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